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dougal74 posted a comment on Thursday 5th June 2008 9:29am for Teasing And The Williams's

A good well written chapter...good to see a positive Harry coming into his own shell.

Mionefan posted a comment on Tuesday 27th May 2008 5:28am for Teasing And The Williams's

Good chapter.Tonks will be the loser in any teasing with Harry. He's been teased by the twins.

TheDudeAbides posted a comment on Thursday 20th March 2008 4:59am for Teasing And The Williams's

Where are your contractions? You have a serious lack of contractions, especially in speech, which makes a lot of this sound stilted and unnatural. Unless you want all of them to sound that way.

"I would rather not think.." -> "I'd rather not"
"I will use Tonks." -> "I'll use Tonks."
"I am not going to start" -> "I'm not going to start"

Seriously, listen to people talk around you, and you'll hear very few examples of people saying the full versions of these common contractions.

Aaran St Vines posted a comment on Friday 26th January 2007 11:19am for Teasing And The Williams's

I am not sure I can really see Occlumency as something one can learn substantially in one sitting, even though Harry had all of Snape's bad teaching to show him how not to do it.

However, your process of Harry picking up most of the fundamentals in one burst is probably the best, all-at-once I've read. Very well done, that.

The scenes with Vernon build very well and are realistic within context.

A great read.